a little humour for you

Maybe I'm easily amused, but I like this one.

Economic Models explained with cows.

SOCIALISM:

You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.



COMMUNISM:

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.



FASCISM:

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.



NAZISM:

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.



BUREAUCRATISM:

You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then

throws the milk away...



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies,

and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk

of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has

dropped dead.



A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the

roads, because you want three cows.



A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of

an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a

clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market it worldwide.



A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat

once a month, and milk themselves.



AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have

lunch.



A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You

count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and

learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of

vodka.



A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners

for storing them.



A CHINESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you

have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the

newsman who reported the real situation.



AN INDIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You worship them.



A BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. Both are mad.



IRAQI CORPORATION:

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade your

country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a

Democracy....



SURREALISM:

You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica

lessons



HONG KONG CAPITALISM:

You have two cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company,

using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank. Then

you execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that

you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The

milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a

Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder. He

sells the rights to all 7 cows' milk back to the listed company, and

proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual report says that the

company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the

2 cows because the feng shui is bad.



NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:

You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.



AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and

go for a few beers to celebrate.