Adding a few thoughts to the post below...

I just thought I should add that many people here are very happy about the resignation of the president. My opinion is just that, my opinion. :) Also, many people seem to think that it's all over, and calm will return. I'm not convinced of that idea, but if it's true that will be great.

So sad.

The president of Madagascar resigned yesterday and the opposition leader is taking power. This is not the result that I imagined would come from this crisis. It may not be as bad as I feel it is - I'm no political analyst. But when I read this, it makes me sad.

We are waiting to have our visas renewed, as well as the NGO agreement for MAF. I have many questions about how that will be done in the offices of a government that still seems to be, um, shall we say, a bit unorganized. We shall see.

Friends are continuing to leave on a regular basis. Not all for evacuation reasons, necessarily, but if a good reason to leave comes up, most of us are ready to take it! Unfortunately, the decision has been made for the Reach team to leave, which makes me very sad. (I am a chicken, and haven't told the girls about this yet. There will be much wailing and protesting when this news breaks in our household.)

In happier news: We spent a few hours at the pool yesterday, which was a welcome piece of normal life. We still have lots of milk and toilet paper, and I have no reason to think that the shops will close. Even though I'm getting a little bit of cabin fever, we continue to feel very safe in our compound. We still have cell phone coverage. We still have (as-reliable-as-it-ever-was) internet service. I know that we have so many people praying for Madagascar and for us, and it is so encouraging.

Keep on praying, please. It isn't over yet.

News from away...

So, things have definitely escalated here in Mada this week. I find it hard to put all of my thoughts into words, but I will say that yesterday and today have been rather stressful and tiring. It's so exhausting to battle fears from the multitude of rumours that are floating around all the time, everywhere I go.

Jocelyn wrote about it here and here, and did a good job of explaining the emotions that we're dealing with. (If you click on over there, feel free to leave her a comment, ok? :)

In all of this strange, stressful, constantly changing turmoil, I am feeling the presence of God with us. Right now I would like to say that I'm not worried, but I'm not quite there yet. I'm praying that God would keep on strengthening my faith, and that I will believe with all my heart that His mighty hand will make the way for us.

Please keep on praying...

The New Normal

Several people have asked if we are back to normal as far as the crisis is concerned. (I won't go into how normal we are in other aspects of life. Ha.) My answer is that we have a new normal. As far as I can tell, the crisis is not close to being over, but it's come to a place that we can live with it as it is. It means that we don't go into some areas of town unless absolutely necessary, and that on particularly volatile days we stick pretty close to home. It means that the dairy products and cooking oil from the president's company are in the stores only sporadically. It means that although the girls have been having school as normal, school can be canceled without warning. Matthew has extra paperwork and red tape at work, since flying requires extra permissions right now. So, is it inconvenient? Sometimes. Can we live with it? For sure. Is it wearing on us? Maybe. It's hard to tell. This is so much better than the first week or two when we stayed at home so much and couldn't get groceries and other things as normal. Those weeks make what we've experienced since then seem not-so-bad.
We have tried to be very careful about how much the girls hear about the details of what happens in town. They know that the mayor and president don't get along, and that there are angry people who stole things and burned buildings. Caitlyn knows a bit more - that people have been killed, etc. But I really have been careful after Caitlyn told me that it makes her nervous to talk about it. We pray about it as a family and we try to answer their questions. Beyond that I don't know if there are other things we should be doing to help them cope.
Sometimes I struggle with guilt. One of my (literal) nightmares in the last few years has been being evacuated from war, while my Malagasy friends stay behind. It doesn't seem like we'll be evacuated, but you never know. We do have the option. So many people here wouldn't want to leave, but even if they did, they probably don't have the option. There's also a lesser guilt about being able to go on eating as we always have. Cooking oil has tripled in price and now settled down to about double the price since this began. Sure, it's expensive, but I can still buy it. Yogurt, cheese and milk have all gone up. Meat hasn't necessarily gone up since the crisis, but it has increased by 30 - 150% since we moved here. But I can still afford it. I won't even get into what we pay to fuel our truck! I'm processing living among poverty once again. How do I reconcile my relative wealth here with my decidedly not wealthy status in North America? How do I decide when to share? Outright begging in our area has dramatically decreased since we moved here, but I know that many, many people are suffering from the high cost of living right now.
So, that's the new normal.

A selection of photos from the past few days

The grape jelly which I was so pleased with before it was finished that I took a picture of it. :) We are eating it, by the way. We just have to microwave it for a bit when it comes out of the fridge.

Caitlyn has taken to occasionally bathing and combing her sisters. They actually like it. :) She does a decent job, so you won't hear me complaining.

Remember that I said I bought a gift for Matthew on the side of the road? Well, the next day he had to go to the hardware store and took Caitlyn with him. As they were driving along, they saw a man selling something which definitely caught his eye, and he told Caitlyn, "I wonder if that's what Mommy bought for me...but don't tell Mommy I said that." Next morning, I showed Caitlyn what I bought and her eyes sparkled and she said, "Cool. Now I have a secret with you and a secret with Daddy." I didn't think too much of that. When we got home after church, Matthew said, while looking very mischievous, "If I guess what you got for me, can I have it today?" Since I didn't really want to wait to give it to him, I agreed. And? Whaddya know. He'd seen the same thing. :) And here it is:

It's an NHL beach towel! In Madagascar! :) And, what's more, for those of you who aren't up on such things, it's a Canadian teams beach towel! Cool, eh? There's just something about finding a small piece of home in such an unlikely place.

Wait and see

The one problem with getting up early all week is that I can't shut it off on the weekends, even if the alarm isn't set. :( Oh well. It's quiet, peaceful and cool at this time of the day, so I guess that's good.

The political situation is continuing. It's getting stranger and a little more 'exciting' now that the president has taken some action to reinforce the idea that he is still the leader of this country. We keep saying we'll wait and see how things go. "Waiting and seeing" is a strange way to live life and I don't think that we are fully aware of the stress it adds.

In our first term here, we only left Madagascar as a family (M traveled for MAF sometimes) to go to Canada for our mid-term break. Before our furlough, we decided that wasn't wise and that in this 2-year stretch we are going to take a trip somewhere at about the halfway point. Of course, we didn't know then that there would be this stress of political unrest. I am thanking God that we have that holiday to look forward to and that He gave us the idea for the timing, because He knew! He knew that this would be a tiring year. I feel like I have a little extra stamina for these days because I know we aren't here without an end in sight.

Thanks for all of your thoughts and ideas about the jelly. If I microwave it for a few seconds it's at least not chewy. :) I made bread yesterday, so we'll have to give it a try.

Today we have a new MAF family coming for lunch and then we have a MAF barbeque this evening. Should be enough to keep us busy for one day. :)

I have been working at still more junk-tossing, and frankly, I am very discouraged about it. I feel like for everything I throw away or give away, 5 more come in to take its place. :( The girls bring home crafts and/or papers from school, girls' club, Jr Church, and make more in between. And 75% of those things are very special to them. I've taken to being very sneaky and throwing them away when they aren't looking, but that feels deceptive. Any advice? I'm ready to really get rid of junk, but it feels like I'm fighting a losing battle. (The crafts/paper issue is just one example...)

Well, on that cheery note, I'm off. :) Have a good weekend!

Monday, Monday

Saturday: I enjoyed a relaxing, productive day at home with my family. Matthew built shelves for our storage room, I dealt with some clutter and scrapbooked a little bit, the kids played wedding most of the day. It was in some ways such a great day, but in the back of our minds we were always wondering, "What's going on in town?" "Is what we hear true?" "How much worse are things going to get?" "Will we be at home all of the coming week?"

It was an awful day in town. I am starting to feel very impatient with both sides of the conflict. Over and over I have to remind myself that things will not and cannot be handled like politics in my culture. I don't know the unwritten rules, the unwritten way things go here. It's so easy for me to see it all as being so unnecessary and so very stupid.

Sunday: We went to church and as always, I find church to be such a critical part of my week. It gives me a bigger picture to look at, both spiritually and physically. It often is so helpful for me to process my past week as I worship, and to look forward to the coming week remembering that God is big. Very, very big. And being with other believers gives me a reminder that the world is bigger than my little space. There's a lot going on and it's not all about me. :)

After church we were invited to have lunch with friends. Our friend Kevin is here visiting from Canada, so he went with us. It was so good to just sit around, talking and laughing a lot. The only downside that I could see was that Kevin didn't bring his wife along. :( C'est la vie. (Kevin and Erin used to live here, and we did tons of stuff together.)

Sunday evening was the missionary community get-together, and again, it was so good to get glimpses of the bigger picture.

Monday: That's today. So far, we've had a normal day. One exception is that Larissa didn't go to school today. The hope is that school will reopen tomorrow, and the week will go on as planned in that regard. We shall see.

Matthew is going away from tomorrow till Wednesday. Just one overnight...piece of cake. :) When he comes back, Kevin will be staying with us for a couple of nights.

And now, I need to get off the computer and wipe a bum, check up on schoolwork, think about what's for lunch and bake some bread. Good, solid, normal stuff. :)

Update...

Please keep on praying for the country of Madagascar! This evening I'm watching the news online and listening for news from friends around town, and it's not good news that I'm hearing. The rally in town today has ended in violence, and I don't think it's over yet.

I don't really know what to write, since I hardly qualify for political analysis. Just pray. We still feel safe at our house. In fact, it's hard for me to imagine that all of this is happening in town, when things are so peaceful here that I can hear the crickets.

(selfish little thought: I really, really, really don't want to be stuck at home all of the next week!)

groceries!

So, today I got to go shopping at two grocery stores! I really stocked up on whatever I could find since I have no guarantee that it will be there tomorrow. We now have cereal, milk, TP, meat, pasta, canned beans (kidney, white, etc), flour and sugar and more.

It feels good to be stocked up on stuff, but I must say I didn't like feeling like I was competing with other shoppers for what was on the shelves. Yikes. Everyone seems to be desperate to see what they can get. I tried to tell myself to relax the whole way through the store, to just calmly see what was there and trust God to provide the things we truly need. :) Probably the biggest provision was that my Visa card worked, and saved me from using up all of my cash.

Aimee and Sierra had their first day of school today and enjoyed it a lot. Aimee has 4 loose teeth right now and this evening one is soooo loose that I don't even know how it's staying in. :)

normalacy?

So, today we are under the impression that we are back to business as usual. I confess I have no idea how things can possibly be back to normal, but I'm about to go out and see what I can see. :) Larissa went to school today for the first time since we're back. She was very excited and only slightly nervous. The rest of us whipped through a bunch of schoolwork (yay!!) and now I'm about to go and see if the grocery stores are open or not, then pick up Judah and Larissa from school.

We had a great weekend. Saturday we spent a few hours at the pool and then just hung out here. Sunday we went to church (hooray!!) and then out for lunch with a bunch of friends. (The menu was considerably shorter, due to the high price of cooking oil right now.) Then we came back here and I scrapbooked! It was so much fun to get out the new supplies I brought back and start to reorganize everything.

Alrighty, I'm off. Please keep on praying for Madagascar!

oh the cabin fever...

So, we've basically been in our house this week, except for Matthew going to work most days and me going out to hunt down our groceries two different times. It's been a little hard on me to feel trapped in the house, but at the same time we are getting a lot of schoolwork done. :) (There's always a silver lining, right?)
Things seem to have calmed down for the most part, but there are demonstrations scheduled for the center of town tomorrow. We'll see how that goes. I'm praying for peace this weekend and hoping that my prayers aren't too selfish!
Tonight the MAF staff are getting together for supper, so that will be a welcome change of surroundings!
Thank you for all of your supportive comments on the last post...I feel much better about things, overall. I will be very excited about getting the girls into school finally...they could really use a little variety in their days, too! :)
Oh, if anyone has any exciting ideas about how to make our food stretch as far as possible, I'm all ears. :) So far we have plenty to eat, but it's going to be very different combinations than what we're used to if the stores don't reopen soon!

honesty

(this was written yesterday, and I was really at that place yesterday. this morning my devotional reading was on God's power when we are weak...I don't think that was coincidental. so, i'm in a better place to begin today, but your prayers are still appreciated.)

We’ve been back in Madagascar for eleven days now, I believe, and it’s been quite the eleven days. First I had the jet-lag that just kept on giving. The girls have all been sick and still have lingering coughs. I was also sick and am still coughing enough that my ribs are sore. One piece of our luggage arrived a week (ONE! WEEK!) after we did. There was a cyclone, which gave us days of dreary weather. Next came some political tension/civil unrest stuff, which still isn’t over. We are confined to our compound, unless we’re with a group. That sounds much worse than it is, with the exception that it kinda makes me feel antsy just knowing I’m not supposed to leave. : ) This morning I went out with 8 other MAF staff and volunteers to get groceries. The supermarkets are closed today so we did our shopping in the many small shops along the road...I found almost everything I wanted, but I don’t think I ever got more than 2 things in the same place. :) It was kind of fun, but since I’m still recovering from this sickness it’s really left me exhausted for the rest of the day. Our house still feels un-put-together, our routine is still on trial, the girls haven’t been to school yet because of either sickness or the tension in town. Homeschooling is still in the getting warmed up stage, and it’s a little bit of a shock to us all to see what that feels like again.

All of this is not quite the “welcome home” I was looking forward to. I had big plans of organizing closets as I unpacked the new clothes we brought back, not just unloading stuff and making hasty decisions about which closet to shove it into. I haven’t been able to go to church either Sunday that we’ve been back, which is a giant disappointment. I missed our church more than anything else in Mada while we were away, and I was so looking forward to getting back to it.

I know that this season will pass by. I know that God is faithful and I’ve never looked back on a hard time and saw that He really messed that one up. I know that we have many, many blessings...kids that are not seriously ill, kids that love to play and learn, friends that have welcomed us back lovingly, enough food and clothing and shelter and water to meet our needs. I know.

The hard fact of the matter is that I’m having trouble remembering. It’s been difficult to remember why we’re here.

Last night as I was going to sleep, I was thinking of the lyrics “when sorrows like sea billows roll...” and I had to think to myself, “It’s really not sea billows. Maybe more like a choppy, white-capped lake.” I hope that whether it is sea billows or a few bumps along the way, He will teach me to say “It is well with my soul.”

Praise the LORD!!

I slept all night last night!! :) Thank God for drugs, and for a good husband who got up with the crying kids. They came to ask me a question about if C could have Advil, and I could hardly wake up enough to answer them. Ooops. :) But they are all still sleeping now, and I feel great. Yay!

this and that, the Sunday edition

*We had one of the worst jet-lag nights ever last night. I dozed off at about midnight for about 30 minutes and didn’t sleep again until about 5. :( The kids were awake a lot between 2 and 5. Matthew was awake a lot, too. It can only get better. Right?

*Because C woke up at 2:30ish and didn’t go back to sleep before church, she and I stayed home together. She slept one hour between 10 and 11 this morning and has been going strong ever since. The others had a delightful time at church.

*I haven’t unpacked my sandals yet, but once I do I will be outside taking pictures of my flowers. There is a beautiful vine growing up my back wall and I can’t identify it. I hope one of you will know what it is! :)

*Coming back here feels like starting over with a clean slate in a lot of ways. Our routine, for instance, is blankly staring at us, but for the girls and I it’s largely up to us how we organize it. It’s a little scary and a lot exciting to brainstorm about how to make things work.

*Mr Frank stopped in this afternoon, looking quite well. He visited for awhile and just as I thought he wasn’t going to ask for a job, he did. Well. I don’t know what to say. I asked him to come back Wednesday for an answer, so maybe by then I’ll know what to say. I’m pretty sure the answer will be no. (The hang-up is that his sons owe me money...I’m not going to make a big issue out of it, but hmmmm.)

*My girls are currently playing some imaginary play that requires them to talk in sort of a half-British-half-Australian accent. I wish I could do accents like they can.

*I’m off to see if anyone wants to play Blokus.

sleepless in madagascar

I’m sitting here in the dark. The power just went off (welcome back to Madagascar, Rhonda) and I decided to start typing while I wait for the lights to come back.

We’ve been back less than 24 hours, and it is so good to be back. I’m having plenty of “oh, yeah, I forgot things are like that” moments. And I kind of feel like I have to re-learn how to be the wife/mother/one-in-charge-of-a-lot-of-things person again! It’s been a long time since I’m the sole person in charge of domestic things. :) But we have excellent neighbours and friends who are welcoming us back, and the weather is beautiful, and we’re going to settle in. Sooner or later. :)

And my bougainvillea is blooming. That alone made my day!

We’re slowly getting unpacked, and I’m looking forward to getting our schedule/routine ironed out in the weeks to come. I’m hoping to officially begin school next Monday. I think one week is enough time to get settled in...

Random bits of nothing:
*Going through Paris-CDG makes me feel like a rat in a maze. I think that we are probably secretly being analyzed when we go through that airport, as part of some vast, twisted experiment.
*On one of our flights we had chickpea and tuna salad. Amazingly enough, I loved it and wish that I could make it.
*I’m so glad that I can go from -35C to 26C, instead of the other way around.
*The girls are hilarious. They go around the house finding things and enthusiastically exclaim over them. “OH!! The forks and knives!” “Wow!! I remember this toilet!” “Hey look! It’s our couch!” It’s really wonderful to see them so happy to be so at home. They slept so well last night, in their OWN beds. :)
*Lest you think that because I said the girls slept well, it means we have no jet lag, let me just say this: They slept between 2 and 11 am. :) A good sleep, but sadly, not during accepted sleeping hours.
*Sierra uses the word “accordingly” a lot. Most of the time it’s not used properly.
*Mme Pauline stopped in to say hi today and told me I’m fat. I’m trying hard to remember that she’s probably jealous. It’s hard to forget how amazed she was. Ha. :) Here’s hoping she doesn’t have to be amazed for long.
*Matthew and I were going to watch a movie until we felt like going to sleep, but the power still isn’t back on. Bummer.
*It was fun to dig out shorts and t-shirts for the girls today. Not so much fun for me. (See comment two points up.)
*When Kirk came to visit us he raved about the Coke here and how good it is. I didn’t know what he meant until now. The Coke here is far superior to Coke in Canada. Too bad it’s not good for you.
*It’s now 1:00 am. I can’t sleep. :( We watched the movie, I dozed off, then woke up and can’t go back to sleep. Yet. :)